I actually did like mayonnaise at one time, on certain things. Never on a burger (that's just disgusting) but I used to have it on subs and a bit with tuna sandwiches. HOWEVER, there were only two people in this world that could make me a tuna sandwich. My mother and my grandmother. They did it just right, with just enough mayonnaise and cut up pieces of celery in it. Otherwise tuna sandwiches were disgusting! (Though not as disgusting as egg salad sandwiches, that's always been a never... I couldn't get past the farty and rancid smells together).
The fateful day was actually Tzatziki sauce on a Gyro. You know when you eat something bad and get sick, you know what it was that did it to you. Well, it was the tzatziki sauce at this Greek pizza joint. Tzatziki is a garlicky white yogurt sauce, but it turned me off on all similar goop forever. Mayonnaise, sour cream, ranch dressing, anything liable to come out my nose when I gag on it
A few years after that I encountered my first Taco Bell franchise. I was all oboyoboyoboy and I ordered 3 burrito supremes at the drive-thru, not realizing what "supreme" meant, it had to be better than non-supreme, right? I couldn't even wait to get back, I opened up one of the burritos and took a bite out of it, and sour cream ejaculated in my face, it was loaded with it. That was so disgusting I threw it all out the window.
I HATE those things so much, it makes me angry if I bite into something. At a Wendy's, I ordered a couple of burgers and a grilled chicken sandwich for a side. I specified no mayonnaise not just once, but with a reminder. I ate the burgers and was all looking forward to the chicken sandwich. Same thing, bit into it and mayonnaise squirted out. I was so fucking angry it was dangerous. I marched up to the counter all "I said no fucking mayonnaise!" and smacked it down harder than I intended to. It absolutely exploded on the counter. I left before the cops got there and never went back to that location
